從小就幻滅的浪漫夢想
胖胖小女孩娜塔莉看著電視上浪漫愛情片《麻雀變鳳凰》時,臉上露出憧憬想像的表情,卻立刻被祖母戳破了美夢,祖母告訴她,相貌平平的女孩一生都得不到這種愛情,這些浪漫喜劇裡的愛情只會發生在窈窕美女身上;而且俊男美女的美滿結局也是假的,經不起時間考驗。祖母說:
(1) 醒醒吧!娜塔莉,那只是電影。忘了男人也忘了愛情。在現實生活裡,像我們這種女生得不到愛情。親愛的,照照鏡子!我們不是茱莉亞羅伯滋,那女人有傾城的笑容,她秀髮如雲。
Wake up, Natalie. It’s just a movie. Forget about men, forger about love. In real life, girls like us don’t get that. Look in the mirror, dear, We’re no Julia Roberts. That woman has got a million-dollar smile. She’s got a gorgeous mane of hair.
(2) 關於我們這種女生的電影,永遠都不會問世,因為可能很悲慘。愛情不是童話故事,沒有美滿結局。
They’ll never make a movie about girls like us, because it would be so sad. Love is not a fairy tale. There’s no happy endings.
不論多努力,胖妞總被視而不見
25年後的娜塔莉(瑞貝爾‧威爾森飾)已經成為一位優秀又努力的建築師,卻因為外貌而一直沒有自信也不被重視,在公司總是被差遣去做一些打電話修影印機或丟垃圾的雜務,連帥哥客戶布雷克(連恩‧漢斯沃飾)來公司開會,都以為她是倒咖啡小妹。她曾跟同事好朋友喬許(亞當‧迪凡飾)抱怨過被忽視的心情:
(3) 即使再次見到他,他這樣的男人還是會把我當空氣。在超級有錢、超級成功、超級魁梧的男人眼裡,我簡直就不存在。
Even if I see him again, a guy like that, I’m just invisible to him. Super rich, super successful, a super hunky guy , I’m just extra invisible to a guy like that.
其實喬許非常欣賞娜塔莉,看見她的美麗可愛和才華,在這裡他稍微暗示了一下不相信愛情的她。
(4) 即使他注意到妳,妳也沒意識到他在注意妳。妳對愛盲目,根本看不見。
Even if he noticed you, you wouldn’t notice him noticing you. You’re blind to love. You don’t even see it.
浪漫愛情劇有可笑公式?
影片藉著娜塔莉之口,大大挖苦了浪漫喜劇不切實際又可笑的套路:
(5) 那些電影都是謊言,配上糟糕的流行歌曲。人們在床上醒來,頭髮整齊,妝容完整。
All those movies are lies, set to terrible pop songs. People waking up in bed with full hair and make up.
(6) 總有個女主角,超級笨拙地跌倒或凸搥,她嗲聲說:慘了!而大家卻說:她好迷人啊!
There’s always some main chick, she is super clumsy. She always says “Oh! Whoops!” And everyone goes, “She’s so charming.”
(7) 當同一工作地點有兩個女人,那麼她們肯定是死敵。兩位女性同事不可能彼此力挺對方,這個想法真是太噁心了。
When there are two women in the same work place, they have to be mortal enemies. The idea that two women can’t root for each other at work is just disgusting.
(8) 總有愚蠢的旁白,來告訴你,你該怎麼想。
They always have some stupid voice over that comes on to tell you what you’re supposed to think.
(9) 在浪漫喜劇的結尾處,他們總是拍一些愚蠢的慢動作跑步連續鏡頭。
At the end of those rom-coms, they always do this stupid slow motion running sequence.
(10) 美滿結局根本不是真正結局。他們就此打住是因為接下來發生的一切會慘不忍睹,沒人想看。
The happy ending is not the end. They stop it there because what happens next is really shit, nobody will want to see that.
遇搶劫意外失去意識,她的人生變成一齣浪漫喜劇
娜塔莉在捷運遇到搶劫,奮力抵抗而撞昏過去,醒來時她的人生竟然變成一齣浪漫喜劇,而她竟變成這齣愛情劇的萬人迷女主角。以上她嗤之以鼻的喜劇浪漫公式全部發生,會笨拙跌倒的她卻受到高富帥哥布雷克熱烈追求,浪漫劇情總襯著城市花香與好聽音樂還有適時的下雨,她說髒話或者與帥哥夜晚纏綿的鏡頭卻會被消音與跳過,最後她發現自己愛的是喬許,也會用慢動作跑去教堂阻止他和美女的婚禮,但是在教堂她對喬許的一番真心表白,卻讓她找到愛自己的理由和自信領悟:
(11) 我永遠不會看起來像你身邊的她這樣,但是我聰明善良又風趣,我對工作充滿熱情還很會唱卡拉OK。你該選我,你該愛的是我,因為我愛…我,天哪,我很愛自己!
I’ll never look like her, but I’m smart and kind and funny, and I’m passionate about work, and I’m really weirdly good at karaoke. You should choose me, you should love me, because I love…me! Oh, my God, I love myself.
不論人生是否南柯一夢,都要當自己人生的主角,愛自己
浪漫愛情劇只是娜塔莉的南柯一夢,真正在醫院醒來那一刻也是她對人生醒悟的時候,她懂得最先她必須愛自己,她回到公司展現自信地介紹自己努力設計的停車場設計圖,並且大方跟喬許示愛,喬許也終於可以有機會告白:
(12) 我認為我們最終會在一起,喬許,你幹嘛不約我?
I thought you and I would end up together. Why didn’t you ask me out, Josh?
(13) 我一直有約,妳卻一向都說不行,妳總會拒絕我,然後我們就變成這種好朋友。
I did, all the time, you’d always say no, you’d shoot me down, and then we become such good friends.
先愛自己,才能相信愛情,也才有機會遇見愛情!我們用「愛自己」的兩段話來做結尾:
(14) 一直以來,我以為我得讓別人愛上我,其實我該愛我自己。
This whole time, I thought I had to get somebody else to fall in love with me, but I had to love me.
(15) 你可以在整個宇宙中尋找,永遠找不到比你自己更值得愛的人。
You can search the entire universe, and never find a being more worthy of love than yourself.
(圖片來源:豆瓣電影)